In the Before Times of February 2020, when the world was as it was, I felt the call. Waking the Wild Feminine with Lian Brook-Tyler stirred something within me. I harboured misgivings, of course. The thought of an intimate women’s circle (with all that nourishing going on) was vaguely repellant to me. And yet … I answered the call.

Something wiser than me understood it was time to wake up. Time to fall to the ground and dig in the dirt. Time to seek out the lost pieces of gold in the darkness. I long shied away from really seeing the strength in shadow. I thought that shadows, being shadows, were passing figments of my imagination. They were gloomy phases to be feared, braced and weathered, until the sun returned to my body and mind. I didn’t know there was magic there. A few moons later, with sisters in digital square circle as witness, I made a commitment to living wild and free.

In June, I almost strayed from this tenderfoot path. My head was turned by the formal, structured, traditional, trodden ways. The ways that end with recognised letters after your name. Where you become an expert in other people’s already-made ideas. The pull was strong. My mind weighed up the pros and cons and came up with a way to bend me to fit the box. It almost worked.

Until I remembered my commitment to myself. And to the lost arts. To the art of paying attention. Of closing the eyes and moving as the body wants to move. To the art of breathing and bathing and radical rest. Of self-acceptance and body love. To the art of gazing at hidden parts (and praising the pussy). May we learn to let her lead. To the art of naming, unshaming and reclaiming the golden bones of long-buried tales. Of speaking out loud what feels alive right now. To the art of courting pleasure and playfulness and responding to the rhythms of life. I was reminded that everything I need is already here, in these inner wilds, as long as I am willing to soften, sense, open and receive.

Angela’s Flashes is a container for exploring this off-beat path and sharing the discoveries of this mid-life rewilding. It is a space to honour the timings of my life and this process of becoming. To retrace the threads that connect the untamed, bushy-maned girl I was in the picture at the top of this page, to the woman I am unearthing now. All of you is welcome to journey with me.